


Breathing Anew

by TiffanyF



Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 20:53:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/666377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiffanyF/pseuds/TiffanyF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILERS SEASON SIX FINALE AND SEASON 7.01 RESURRECTION.<br/>Eric's inner thoughts and feelings from the time he and Calleigh arrive at the air strip until he finds out the truth. I don't own them (wish I did) and am only playing here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathing Anew

Horatio is dead. Horatio is dead.

The three words echoed through Eric’s mind over and over. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. Three simple words put together in so devastating a sentence. Words that when put together made no sense at all and yet made Eric feel like he had been punched in the gut. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t catch he breath. He couldn’t, wouldn’t believe it, not until he saw the body for himself.

Horatio is dead. Horatio is dead.

Those wonderful blue eyes would never gaze up at him again as they made love, slowly, communicating silently as they moved together. He would never get to see those eyes flutter open sleepily in the morning. Eric could feel tears filling his own eyes as he realized the light and love had gone out in Horatio’s forever.

Horatio is dead. Horatio is dead.

The words kept repeating with each beat of Eric’s heart. He wished that his own heart would stop so he wouldn’t have to face the pain of knowing his lover was gone forever. Eric wanted to break down and weep. He wanted to scream. He wanted to touch where his lover had been lying and never get up again. He didn’t want to live without his lover. Everything had slowed down, the color was washed out of the world and Eric wondered why he was still alive.

Horatio is dead. Horatio is dead.

A mantra that wouldn’t leave Eric alone as he tried so hard to hold himself in check so he could work. He wanted to help the team find the killer, but he was in so much pain that he was surprised he didn’t shatter at the slightest touch. No one at the lab knew about their relationship, no one understood why he was so upset. There was no one he could talk to, no one he could trust with his secret. With his pain.

Horatio is dead. Horatio is dead.

Nothing was ever going to be right again. Eric heard what Wolfe said, but the words didn’t penetrate the all-encompassing grief that had wrapped itself around Eric’s heart and soul that morning. He turned the music as loud as possible in the Hummer as he drove towards the parking garage, trying to tune out the words that were still throbbing through his body. Eric wanted nothing more than to make the echo stop, to die, to join his lover.

Horatio is dead. Horatio is dead.

Eric parked the Hummer in a darkened corner of the lower level of the parking garage. He didn’t even really know why he was there. There was no hope left in Eric. It had all bled out to mingle with his lover’s blood on the tarmac at the air strip. He climbed out of the driver’s seat and walked slowly around to the passenger side of the Hummer, only to be met by a sad pair of blue eyes and open arms. Eric’s breath caught in his throat and he fell into his lover’s arms.

“Shhhh,” Horatio whispered as he rubbed Eric’s back. “I’m so sorry, Eric. I am so sorry to have put you through this. I love you so much. I didn’t want you to be the one to find me if anything went wrong.”

“Why?” Eric managed between sobs.

“Those bullets have to come off the street, Eric, and the only way was for me to die,” Horatio said. “I never wanted to hurt you, Eric. I wanted to call and tell you the truth, but there was no time. You and Calleigh were both being watched and your reactions had to be completely natural. Mr. Wolfe was with me at the questioning and set up. I told him not to tell you until the time was right. I love you, Eric. I wanted you by my side so badly, but I needed to protect you as well.”

Eric pulled back and looked into the blue eyes. They were so sad, filled with pain that matched what he had been feeling all day, and yet he could still see the love shining through. A love that was just for him. “I love you too, Horatio,” he whispered. “God, I was ready to kill myself to find a way to join you. I didn’t want to live without you.”

“I know, Eric, I know,” Horatio said. “That’s why I needed to see you. You needed to know that I was alive. But I had to make sure that you were safe first. I don’t want to live without you either. I know I’m never going to be able to make this up to you, but I swear I will spend every spare moment I have showing you how much I love you.”

“What happens now, H?”

“We find our killers,” Horatio replied. “I need you to be safe out there, Eric. You and the team are still targets. Just because I’m gone doesn’t mean you won’t be in danger.”

“I promise,” Eric said. He leaned in and kissed Horatio softly. Horatio’s hand came up to cup the back of his head as his tongue snaked out to deepen the kiss. Eric moaned softly and opened to his lover. Horatio’s head tilted just slightly as their tongues played together.

“Eric,” Horatio whispered.

“I don’t have anything with me,” Eric replied. His hands dropped to Horatio’s belt and started to undo it. “What can we use, H?”

Horatio spun his younger lover around and pushed him against the Hummer. “Bend over a little, Eric,” he said as he undid both pairs of slacks and pushed them down. Eric jumped as Horatio’s finger circled him, covered in a cool slickness. “Sorry,” Horatio said as he pushed into his lover. “I had it in my suit jacket so it’s not as warm as it should be.”

“Feels good,” Eric moaned. He was dizzy at the feel of his lover’s finger inside him again. And hour ago, ten minutes ago, he’d thought he’d never be able to feel it again. His breath caught at just how close he’d come to losing his lover, the one person he felt closer to than anyone else in Miami.

“Shhhh, I’m still here, Eric,” Horatio whispered as he stepped into position. “I know how much I hurt you, I’d give anything to take that back. I’m here, and I’m not leaving you.” He thrust forward sharply and then slid home in a smooth slide. “This isn’t a dream, Eric. You’re not hallucinating. I’m real.”

“H,” Eric said. He splayed his hand in a silent request, one Horatio quickly picked up on. The red head laced his fingers together with his lover’s as he started to thrust, his other arm wrapped around Eric’s waist to help steady him. “H.”

“I love you, Eric,” Horatio whispered in Eric’s ear as he thrust. He let his tongue play with the shell of Eric’s ear in-between his words. “You are my heart; you are what keeps me alive and sane every day. I love you so much. You are everything.”

Eric felt his body tensing and fought it. He didn’t want to climax, didn’t want the moment to end because he knew his lover would leave him again. Leave him until the case was done and Miami was safe. It was a quirk of Horatio’s, one Eric loved, but he didn’t want to lose his lover again so soon after getting him back from the dead. 

Horatio could feel the inner battle in his lover’s body and nipped at Eric’s ear lobe. “Come for me, Eric,” he said. “Milk my cock with your ass, pull me into my climax. Come for me. Now.”

The younger man cried out as his body clenched down and he came against the side of the Hummer. Horatio thrust a few more times and came as well, the pair falling forward against the Hummer, both panting, still joined together.

“I don’t want you to go,” Eric said softly. “I don’t want to lose you, H.”

“You won’t, Eric,” Horatio replied just as softly. “I’ll be with you ever step of the way for the rest of the case. You just might not see me, but I swear I’ll be there. I’m never going to leave you.”

“Let’s go away for a weekend when this is over,” Eric said. “Just the two of us where we can be a couple without worrying about the team and the department.”

Horatio pulled back and was helping his lover get cleaned up. “I’m a step ahead of you there, love,” he said. “I’ve already got us booked for a couple of weeks in England.” He pulled up his slacks and tried to get his suit to look presentable again.

“England?” Eric asked.

“Yeah,” Horatio replied. “We’re leaving the second this is over with.”

Eric looked into twinkling blue eyes and took the first breath that didn’t pain him, make him feel like he was choking. And he had a new mantra to keep him going.

Horatio is alive. Horatio is alive.


End file.
